Best Santa Banta Jokes

 

Here you find The Best collection of good15 Santa Banta jokes, which will make you laugh…so Happy Laughing ha ha ha…….and wait for Part 2 Santa banta jokes

Teacher : santa, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
Santa : You told me to do it without using tables.

 Santa : O Banno Car ki speed itani kyo badha di..?
Biwi : Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehele ghar pahunch jaate hai.

 Banta fell in love with a porno star and married her. He got an opportunity to watch one of her movie.... the Movie came to an End.
A bit disturbed and annoyed with what he saw, Banta told himself, "Thank God it was just a movie and not reality."

 santa banta were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
santa : This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
santa: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied

 Santa : pehle me apni biwi ko BA karwaunga fir MA fir Phd karwaunga fir badiya si naukri dilwaunga.
Banta : fir acha sa rishta dekh k uski shaadi bhi krwa diyo

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except our Santaji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

 Santa traveling 1st time in plane going to BOMBAY,
while landing, he shouted : "BOMBAY-BOMBAY",
air hostess : " B-silent please ",
santa said : " OMBAY - OMBAY.....!!!!!!!! "

 Santa :   I tried your number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!"

Banta :  Nahi Pape, it's my HELLO TUNE!

 Santa :  Kaisi Sabzi Banai Hai, Bilkul Gobar Jaisa Swad Hai !
Jasmeet :   Hey bhagwan! Na Jane Inhone Kya-Kya Kha Ke Dekha Hua Hai. Gobar Ka Swad Bhi Pata Hai..!

 Santa :  A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B...!
Bunta :   Oye, Iska Matlab ?
Santa :   Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..!

Santa : Phone Mere Liye Ho To Kehna Mein Ghar Pe Nahin Hoon.
Jasmeet :   Wo Ghar Pe Hain.
Santa     :    Maine Mana Kiya Tha Ke...
Jasmeet :   Phone Mere Liye Tha!

 Santa :   Oh Yaar Main Badi Mushkil Mein Hoon...
             Meri Biwi Mujhse Ek Pappi Ka Ek Rupeya Leti Hai..!
Banta :   Oh Yaar Tu Bada Lucky Hai, Auron Se To Woh 5 Rupye Leti Hai

Daku Mangal Singh Banta Ke Ghar Mein Ghuss Ayaa..
Daku  : Sona kahan hai, Jaldi Bataao..!
Banta : Pura Ghar Khali Hai Malko, Jithe Marzi So

Banta to Lawyer: What is your fees?
Lawyer: Rs 5000/- for 3 questions.
Banta: Isn't it too high?
Lawyer: Yes, it is. What is your third question

Santa asks Priest: Why did god make women so beautiful?
Priest: So that you will love them.
Santa: But why did God make

Best of Rajnikant jokes–Part I

 

One of the biggest names of South Indian film industry is Mr. Rajnikanth……As happens with all celebrity, he also has his own set of jokes… !!! The intention of these jokes is not to make fun of Mega Star RajniKanth..   One cannot dare to. Its simply for fun and entertainment purpose.
I apologize if I hurt someone's feeling...

Andheri kaufni raat me.....ek bhoot doosre bhoot se-
Are darr mat koi rajnikant nahi hota.

. why did rajnikant buy an acre of land with 4 wells in each corner...?...Coz he wanted to play carrom...!!

.Some Random Scientist : how do you write 4 in btw 5 ? China : Joke?? Japan : impossible American : Question wrong Pak : stop asking foolish questions, else ill kill you:P UK : nt found in internet frm INDIA Rajnikanth (There is nothing RAJNIKANTH can't do!) : " F(|V)E " :P :P Rajni Rocks :D ;)

A 22 wheeler huge truck once met with an accident against RAJINI.......Since then,it is called TATA NANO.

Once while playing Rajnikanth said "STATUE" to a person......... Now that person is known as "STATUE OF LIBERTY"....

If Rajnikanth would have born 100 years back, British would have fought for their independence.......

Rajinikanth enters the Big Boss house, and next day there is announcement............
Rajinikanth chahate hai ki Big Boss confession room me aaye.

Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.

Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.

Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they just made him blink.

Rajanikanth makes onions cry.

Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day

Rajnikant used to have a rough note book during his School Times. Today That Book Is Known As………… WIKIPEDIA

RAJNIKANTH WAS BORN BEFORE HIS PARENTS WERE….

Once there was a beggar singing at the road………RAJNIKANT enjoyed his singing and gave him his gold chain …………dat beggar is now known as BAPPI LAHIRI…………………….

Dettol’s soap’s new advertisement – the best germ killer, after rajnikanth

 

How Newton Died?
.
.
.
.
.
.
He died after watching south indian movies bcoz he couldn’t bear Rajnikant breaking all the Law of Physics which he made..

Rajnikanth was shot today..
Tomorrow is the bullet’s funeral:-)

Definition of solar eclipse: When Rajanikanth stares at sun with anger, sun hides behind the moon. This greatest phenomenon is called solar eclipse..!!

Government of India pays tax to Rajanikanth for living in India !!

CAT is outdated. Now the students have 2 prepare for RAT= RAJNIKANT APTITUDE TEST

Facebook founder Mark Zukerburg is hospitalized with serious injury…… Reason- Rajnikant poked him on facebook…

Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

Best of Rajnikant jokes - II

Best of Rajnikant jokes - Part II

Rajnikant………

1. Once Rajnikaant signed a cheque… and the Bank bounced!!! - by Ankit Shukla

2. When Rajnikant does push ups, he isn't lifting himself up, he is pushing the earth down...!!!

3.Once superman made a bet with Rajnikant, the loser had to wear the underwear outside !

4. Rajnikant kicked a Once horse in the chin.. It's decendents were found to be giraffes!!

5. Intel’s new caption – Rajnikant Inside. - by Prabh

6. Some magicans can walk on water, Rajnikant can swim through land. - by Abbas

7. Some magicans can walk on water, Rajnikant can swim through land. - by Abbas

8. Rajnikant runs until the treadmill gets tired - by Abbas

9. player: I can spin a ball on my finger for 2 hrs… can u..?? - by Abbas

10. Rajnikanth: enna rascala… How do u think the earth spins…?? :) mind it! - by siva

11. Once Rajnikant was caught on the highway for over speeding… while walking… - by Arpit Rathi

12. India actually didn’t have 50,000 crores for organizing the Commonwealth games… Rajnikanth gave it to them! – by Harvinder Singh Gill

13. An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai … Rajnikant stopped it in Lonawala. - by Nikhil

14. Once Rajnikanth was on Hot Seat of KBC and Computer needed Lifeline to Choose the question. - by Manish

15. Two ghosts were talking.. One consoled other “Don’t fear brother.. there is nothing like Rajnikant” – by Gaurav Sharma

16. Rajnikant’s daughter lost her virginity. Rajnikant found it and gave it back to her !!! - by ssumanth

17. Rajnikant was born on 30th february.. Since then february decided not to give this date to anyone else..!! Mind it.. - by Sandeep

18. Rajni in Tamil remake of Aamir’s Ghulam. Rajni runs on railway track, the train is now at a distance of 1 mtr. Now what? Obviously… The train jumps off the track. - by Sandeep

19. Graham Bell ne lamppost ke neeche padhai ki.. Rabindranath Tagore ne laalten mein padhai ki. Einstein ne doosre logo ki khidki se aati thodi si roshni mein padhai ki. Aur Rajnikanth ne Agarbatti mein :)

20. Once Rajnikant participated in 100 meter running race. Don’t even try 2 guess wat happened. Rajnikant won the race. Seeing this Einstein committed suicide . do U know why. Coz light came third, but who came 2nd Rajnikant’s shadow. - by Sandeep

21. Rajnikant is lovin’ it! – Macdonald’s new tagline - by Harsh

22. A Rajnikanth can change your life – Idea Cellular India

23. Corporate Slogans as they should be:

Impossible is Rajnikanth – Adidas

The car in front is Rajnis – Toyota.

Rajnikanth at Work – General Electric (GE)

am Rajnikanth! What? Rajnikanth I am – Reebok

Connecting Rajnikanth – Nokia

Hello Rajnikanth – Motorola

Express Rajnikanth – Airtel Cellular Service India

A Rajnikanth can change your life – Idea Cellular India

Do you… rajnikanth!? – Yahoo

High Performance, Delivered – Accenture for Rajnikanth

Republic of Rajnikanth - by Dr Sunil

24. Rajnikant has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajnikant is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajnikant

25.Rajnikant is chased by a gangster. Rajnikant has a revolver but no bullets in it. Rajnikant waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajnikant opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… the gangster dies…

Motivational Quotes

"Motivational Quotes"

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant"
Robert Louis Stevenson

*------------*

"Knowing is not enough; we must apply.
Willing is not enough; we must do."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

*-----------*
“Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.”
Arnold H. Glasow

*-----------*
“If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up. "
J.M. Power
*------------*
"We are still masters of our fate.
We are still captains of our souls."
Winston Churchill
*------------*
"Life is just a blank slate, what matters most is what you write on it."
Christine Frankland
*-----------*
"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it."
"Lou Holtz"

*-----------*
"Our work is the presentation of our capabilities."
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

*-------------*
"When asked if my cup is half-full or half-empty my only response is that I am thankful I have a cup."
Sam Lefkowitz

*-------------*
"The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible"
Arthur C. Clarke

*-------------*
"You cannot plough a field by
turning it over in your mind."
Author Unknown

*-------------*
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore,
is not an act but a habit."
Aristotle

*------------*
"Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome."
Samuel Johnson
*-------------*
"The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination."
Tommy Lasorda

*------------*
"You see things; and you say, "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?"
George Bernard Shaw

*------------*
"There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you."
David Burns
*-----------*
"Do not wait for your ship to come in - swim out to it"
Author Unknown

*------------*
“Everybody pulls for David, nobody roots for Goliath.”
Wilt Chamberlain

*-------------*
“We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls”
Winston Churchill

*--------------*
“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”
Albert Einstein

*------------*
"The only limits on human achievement are self-imposed."
Dr. Denis Waitley

*-------------*
"The only lack or limitation is in your own mind."
N. H. Moos
*-------------*
"Those who follow the crowd are quickly lost in it."
Author Unknown

*-------------*
“A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.”
David Brinkley

*--------------*
“Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level.”
Max L. Forman
*--------------*
“The best angle from which to approach any problem is the try-angle.”
Author Unknown
*--------------*
"Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new"
Brian Tracy

*-------------*
"The highest reward for a man's toil is not what he gets for it but what he becomes by it."
John Ruskin

*--------------*
"The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything."
Bishop W.C. Magee
*--------------*
"It is surmounting difficulties that makes heroes."
Louis Kossuth
*---------------*
"When written in Chinese, the word 'crisis' is composed of two characters—one represents danger, and the other represents opportunity."
John F. Kennedy

*----------------*
"It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, "Always do what you are afraid to do."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

*--------------*
"Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant. There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks."
Johann Gottfried Von Herder

One Liners "HAPPY BIRTHDAY " Wishes.....

Happy Birthday and many happy returns of the day.
Wishing you the happiest of birthdays.
May your special day be filled with memories and flowers, friendship and happy hours.

Wishing you another wonderful year of happiness and joy. Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday to someone who deserves a truly happy day.
Happy Birthday to someone who deserves a truly happy day.
Hope your birthday is just the beginning of a year full of happiness.

May this birthday be just the beginning of a year filled with happy memories, wonderful

moments and shining dreams.

Happy birthday, may this day always be a special one to remember.
I hope all your birthday dreams and wishes come true.

Not just a year older, but a year better.

A happy birthday to a wonderful and terrific marvelous you.

A simple celebration, a gathering of friends; here is wishing you great happiness, a joy that

never ends.

Happy birthday, may this day always be a special one to remember.

Hope your birthday blossoms into lots of dreams come true!

I hope that for every candle on your cake you get a wonderful surprise.

May today be filled with sunshine and smiles, laughter and love.

Have a wonderful day and fabulous year.

May your birthday be filled with excitement, joy, and laughter.

On this special day, I just want to say Happy Birthday.

OBest day ever: (MM/DD/YY)

Your birthday only comes around once a year so let's make today a day to remember.

"If there is something that you're dreaming of then may it all come true, because you

deserve it all...HAPPY BIRTHDAY."

"Hope your Birthday gently breezes into your life all the choicest of things and all that your

heart holds dear Have A Fun- Filled Day."

"all of us are joining in to say, that May the year which your birthday begins, brings all the

special things, that mean the most to you!"

"Birthday Bring Along A truly wonderful chance to leave aside every care and simply enjoy.

Have An Extra - Special Birthday."

"Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of 'you' to the world."